4.26.25

9:13 pm - 9:43 pm

i lowkey dont know what to do with this site .... it was very fun making it and occasionally updating it but now that a large part of it is done im like errrmmm..... i still have pages i wanna make and more things i wanna add but i have just been so exhausted all the time and i havent really bothered with making new things for this site or anything in general...

ive been having a harder time doing anything creative recently like coding or drawing. and its PISSING ME OFFFFF I DONT KNOW WHAT MY ISSUE IS. everything has felt so WEIRD and OFF recently its like theres something in the air... like my hair always looks bad all my music sounds weird all my drawings are bad and i cant even enjoy video games... like i usually just spend hours of freetime playing video games and i literally cannot even do that. i play one game of league and i lose and im like 'okay that was unsatisfying and maybe i just gotta like delete my entire computer'

its SO frustrating because i dont know how to FIX it.. like im pushing my boulder up my mountain and NOTHING IS HAPPENING !!! nothing ever happens soyjak . ive been listening to new music but it always sounds bad and ive been trying to draw more and i always hate what i make. then i take a break from drawing to see if that did anything cause usually it does and it DOESNT !!!! like idk . maybe im lowkey washed and i dont wanna accept it .

it makes me feel TERRIBLE because time just keeps going and its already april and i feel like i havent done anything. IVE KIND OF DONE A LOT BUT I STILL FEEL BAD ?!!?!? idk . i just gotta get over it and keep doing stuff cause im gonna start curling up into a ball and sobbing over the things i want to do and not actually do them

ANYWAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really want to do more things on neocities but i literally dont know how anything works. do i just put peoples buttons on my page. idk dude. IM TOO ANXIOUS TO ASK LITERALLY ANYONE ANYWHERE ITS SO BAD. LIKE I LITERALLY CANT TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE. IM SOO WASHED ITS INSANE. but like also is it my fault idk . its scary talking to people online cause everyone is lowkey weird or like a genuinely bad person so it makes me even more anxious about who i talk to and what i say. public discord servers are SO BAD like i cant believe people actually talk to other people on those

i like to talk to people i promise but i am so bad at starting a conversation or doing small talk ... I AM NOT WEIRD OR ANYTHING !! JUST A LITTLE SLOW !!!!!!

okay no more complaining for the rest of this . i PROMISE . its kind of fun just writing whatever i want . i lowkey forgot that this is my website and i can say whatever i want and it doesnt matter and theres gonna be like 4 other people that read this . i dont have anything else to say that isnt complaining actually . okay thats it

2.26.25

7:54 pm

after like 6 months the website is finally up !!! i never thought this would happen im so glad i could finish a project as big as this :D HOORAY !!!!!